howidiotic:

if i do not see josh peck interviewed by oprah before i die i will not have lived a full life

greatfatsby:

"free shipping"

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"with orders of $50 or more!"

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turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

fartney:

Straight guys calling each other faggots

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jackballs:

when your friends make plans without you

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(Source: jackballs)

2dcc:

take me to a museum. kiss me on the steps. shove the Mona Lisa up my ass

ablondbabeshellondabeach69:

sculpts a statue of my ass out of golden diamonds